Memoirs of Medical School: Regrets of The Past

As I look back at the past 21 years of my life, there are certain things that I wish I didn't do and some that I wish I did. Many are trivial issues that I can live with or can still do them in the future. However, there is 2 things that I regret most and can never achieve them anymore. They are but a permenant dark spot in my life.

The 1st is that I missed my chance to attend a World Scout Jamboree. This a get together camp for scouts from all over the world held every 4 years. It has been held for the past 80 years or so, every 4/5 years without fail except once in the 1940s probably due to WW2. I missed the Thai Jamboree which was held in 2003 (the year i was in Form 4) and again missed the London Jamboree held in 2007. The London Jamboree also marks the 100th year of scouting which adds on to the pain.

Why did I missed it? It somehow slipped my mind. I always remember it 3 years before the jamboree but forget it by the time it came. Aiding the slipping of the jamboree of my mind are the demands of my "over-enthusiastic" Scout Master, Mr S. In 2003, I was taking over the troop from Geoffrey Wong as Troop Leader (President). The amount of work and expectations bestowed upon me was crazy. Let me make this clear, My SM is way way way harder to please than any other SM. In fact, I think it is easier to please the District/State/National Commissioners than my SM.

I was practically the Barack Obama of my troop. I had to account to everything that occurs to my members, even when they skipped class. Yes, that's the job of a Troop Leader/President and I'm not complaining. Its the craziness of my SM that I cant take.

Im trying to find some consolation by attending the next World Jamboree at Sweeden in 2011. It will not be the same, but it's better than nothing. ;) I seriously hope it wont clash with any major exams as I will be in the final semester of medical school then.

The 2nd and more important as well as my biggest regret so far is not able to complete my King Scout Pentarafan and acquire my King Scout Badge. This is equivalent to a PhD in Scouts, an easy explanation to non scouts member.

As I mentioned earlier, my SM is "over-enthusiastic". This does not only apply to his expectations and demands but also on his syllabus for badges and tests. He had an impression that in order to receive even the most basic badge in Scouts, a Usaha badge we had to be "Super Scout" If King Scout was a PhD, I would liken Usaha as a High School gradation certificate only higher than a Tenderfoot badge or a basic membership badge.

You see, my SM felt that in order to become a king Scout, we had to be a Super Scout. He wanted us to be something like a Universal Soldier, a NAVY SEAL, a Delta Force, a SWAT team of scouting and that sort of thing. However, what was required from us was actually merely that of a National Service trainee. Do you see the extremely huge and colossus drift between the demands of the two?

And that was the start of all my badges problem. I regret to say that I only have 2 badges in scouts, not including my appointed rank badges.

1) Tenderfoot

2) Usaha

I'm such a sad case right. For all my enthusiasm and spirit of scouting plus the years I spent in scouts, I only have 2 badges. Don't judge me just yet. Have a look at my syllabus. Even a certified King Scout would freak out. I'm sure the commissioners would too. haha There's an insider joke to this statemtent. ;)

Back to my story. The syllabus was successfully in scaring me and inhibited any thought of taking, what more pass any of these tests. It's crazy and we all felt that achieving an Usaha was already considered a extremely successful feat. And this is indeed true as our Usaha test is almost the Level of a Jaya badge, 2 levels up.

Then in the year 2004(when I was in form 5) I decided to challenge myself with the impossible and take the tests. By then, I was already having problems with the date line for tests (we must pass King Scout by 18 1/2), trying to cope with SPM and then A levels and not to forget trying to pass the test under the "grand" and "majestic" syllabus f my SM. Just to be clear, my SM feels that the syllabus set by Scouts HQ of Malaysia is too easy and decided to add stuff into it and increasing the requirement.

After a year plus of trying, I decided to give up. Maybe I shouldn't have. But at that time, I felt that King Scout was already way pass my time. It's like an old man chasing his long gone youth. Maybe I was also sick of the discrimination i received from my SM. When I told him I was interested to take the tests, his only respond was a chuckle, a smirk and "You? You cannot pass the test." How demoralizing. Thank God for my Assistant SM such as Ganesh, Book Aik, Prakash and Foo Hoe ( who has left us due to a dispute with my SM- doesn't it seem like Mr S is the root of all our misery and problems? I sure think so) It is these ASM that gave us a true sense of belonging and a sense that we belong to a family. They made us felt respected, cared and taken care of like an elder brother rather than a crazy "Drill Seargent". It is also because of them that I still wear my uniform every Saturday morning and return to my troop, 6 years after I passed on the troop my the next generation.

At that moment when I gave up on my dreams of obtaining my king Scout Badge, I made a vow to myself. I will help my juniors achieve what i could not. And that is what i have been trying to do. I somewhat to certain extend convinced my ASM to stop using our "Super Scout" syllabus and returned to a more sensible one set by the HQ. Of course, we still do alter the syllabus a little but only to make it more relevant to our troop. We even removed some parts which we felt was not suitable or required.

Next, I made it easier for them to take tests. All it takes is an sms and I will be there to take whatever tests they wish to take. I also encourage them to take tests and sometimes offer rewards (from my own pocket) to encourage them to pass their badges. And most importantly, I lowered the requirement to pass any particular tests. I went through the hardship, there's no reason my juniors should go through it too. In fact, it is relatively easier to pass tests under me than other ASM, as said by one of the juniors. To me it does not matter. We're not training them to be Universal Soldiers. We're training them to be disciplined men with integrity and honour and most importantly, we are teaching them to have fun. Fun is the key to scouting if you ask me, not some senseless tests. Having badges on yr sleeves would also boost self confidence and a sense of achievement.

What instigated me to write this long post about test taking and badges is the syllabus book printed by HQ. We call it the "Skim Latihan" book. As i flipped through the pages trying to prepare for a tests that my juniors have requested, I come to realise that I could have received many badges even without preparing for it. I have the required skills to pass many badges, including some of the 5 Senior badges. A set of 5 badges just before obtaining King Scout. This brought back memories of my years in scouts as well as a sense of regret for the things I have not achieved. It has brought out a sense of failure. Yet, it has also strengthen my vows to help my juniors pass their tests. It has given me a new breath of spirit and encouragement to help them achieve what I failed to achieve.

I know I have used a lot of Scouting Jargon throughout this post. To make it easier to understand the big picture, I shall include a flow chart of the route to King Scout as well as the appropriate badges required. (only the main ones though. We have hundreds of smaller "Proficiency Badges or skill badges in scouts.) =)